With WKU’s graduation coming up in about two weeks, I have realized that I have been in the “adult world” for almost a year now. As a twenty-three year old, I have taken on many responsibilities and am now stable living on my own. However, I still feel like a baby in this large world who has no clue what she’s actually doing. I applaud those who have taken on greater respoinsibilites around my age such as parenthood, owning a home, heck even owning a dog - go you because I’m still learning how to best take care of myself at times. But what I realized the most this year is when to give myself some grace.
I have experienced a lot of growth mentally during my first year post-grad. I have failed and I have had success; I have laughed and I have cried; I’ve been the most happy with myself while simultaneously feeling like the worst version of myself. Ultimately, however, I feel as though each time I have these unpleasant experiences, I have learned and grown from each of them to where I am now an overall pretty happy person.
My point of this isn’t to dwell on myself or throw myself a pitty party, it is just to show how I believe everything that whatever I, or anyone else, experience ultimately contributes to their character.
No matter what one may experience, and I know there are countless individuals who have had a much more challenging life than myself, I believe that by giving yourself grace, you can overcome the daily challenges you face in a progressive way. Giving yourself grace doesn’t mean making excuses or lying to yourself to make yourself feel better about your decisions, it just means when you are actively making an effort towards a goal or mindset and your own or others expectations aren’t being met as quickly as you would like, allow yourself the appropriate grace you deserve.
An example of this that I have experienced myself comes with body image. I overall have a pretty healthy relationship with my body. I love my body because of what it allows me to do, and I have been blessed with a healthy and able-body. However, like many young girls and women, there are times when I wish I could lose a little weight here, or gain a little there, or change this one part just a little, or do this and that, and the list can go on and on.
To keep my body healthy, I try to stay active. But I am also not someone who loves being in the gym every day (I applaud those who do). Whether it’s hot yoga once or twice a week, going to the gym, playing co-rec volleyball, or the occasional hiking, I find ways to stay active. Giving myself grace comes into play when it’s one of those low days, when I wish I had a body like Kendall Jenner. I continue to stay active and am not seeing my body react as fast as I want. I remind myself to give myself some grace because 1. I am not a supermodel, 2. I cannot afford to live as a supermodel and pay for expensive workout classes, fitness coaches, chefs, dietitians, this and that, 3. I find ways to consistently stay pretty active, 4. My body takes care of me and is so far, doing an amazing job, and I love it for that. Sure not everyday I am going to be over the moon IN LOVE with every detail of my appearance, but acknowledging the beauty I do see in myself always reminds me to give myself some grace, and continue on with my day.
Another example that can probably be relatable for many recent graduates (high school or college) is within work - especially that first full-time job or starting your own business or any of those “first steps.” For myself, I remember thinking now have this new position at a new place and have many responsibilites (I am still learning something new each day I go into work). With this comes a lot of constructive cristism. And there are definitely going to be and were some mistakes. I’ve had to remind myself many times that I am not perfect, and to accept that constructive criticism as something that is going to make me stronger in my career. To not make excuses, but to allow myself some grace to accept what happened and to learn from it.
There are many situations like this that can happen daily where I just remind myself of the good that I am working towards, what I have accomplished, and the progress I have made. I can only speak for myself, but I imagine there are many young women like me who have felt these similar emotions. I have noticed within the past few months, I have given this advice to some of my friends and hope that it resignates with them as it does for me. My main goal for this blog was to share my experience of learning to give myself grace, and that someone who may resignate with this can be overall happier by learning to give themselves some grace.
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